the girl who couldn't love

there was once a girl, skin white like a pearl, with the color of flame in her hair
all she wanted was wings, not material things, her feet ached to tread through the air

all day in the sun, love full in her lungs, she sang about meeting a boy
who would fill up her arms, with wit and with charm, and so much unspeakable joy

so she did meet a boy, who acted so coy, before taking her hand, warm in his
he fluttered his eyes, as he took her astride, and he sang to her something like this

"girl, hair like fire, i lovingly admire, will you accept this gift of a kiss?
for i've been watching and waiting, and pointlessly dating, seeking what i've heard about bliss

i will give you the stars, i'll make the world ours, if you accept this offer i've made
together we'll grow, through highs and through lows, for the entirety of the rest of our days"

she responded in kind, claiming she had been blind, to life before meeting his gaze
so they whispered and danced, laying claim to romance, where they happily spent all their days

so came the surprise, which she met with wide eyes, when she couldn't accept his embrace
for her arms couldn't reach, despite her beseeching, all the way 'round the boy's waist

she cried and she tried, with her arms open wide, to wrap him up with her whole self
but her wingspan fell short, and so she was thwarted, left to put the idea on the shelf

the boy refused to resign, as he tried to apply, his reason to find the solution
but the answer escaped, though he tried and he scraped, and she came to a sad resolution

for the girl with red hair, with feet light as air, it was clear what she might be void of
while still full of light, and compassionate fight, it seemed that she just couldn't love

to the fullest extent, despite time that she spent, trying to figure out why
so she went off on her own, to cry and to moan, to beg and to curse at the sky

she approached the sad boy, desperate not to destroy, his straightforward, smart way of life
he listed the facts, said they could try and go back, heartache cut them both like a knife

but she went on to explain, her guilt and her pain, for the shortness of her hugging limbs
she gave him a speech, that her insufficient reach would never quite satisfy him

for the love he could give, and the life he would live, was better than her conscience could afford
when she just could've love, couldn't be worthy of, the wonderful things he out-poured

for what is a love that can't be sealed with a hug, where both parties feel unfulfilled?
where a lack of embrace, despite smiling faces, will forever make him feel bone-chilled

so the girl with short arms, with her head in the stars, left there with a heavy, dark guilt
set on starting anew, for the things that she knew, had crumbled with the life that they'd built

i will continue the tale, of the girl who did fail, at nurturing a once wonderful love
because her arms were too short, too heart-breakingly short, to even provide a warm hug

i have kissed many frogs..
but never has a prince shown himself so clearly
you planted the thought like a bug in my ear
i just met you but i've known you for years
your every feature was described in a dream i once saw
your face was soft and your confidence tall

i have this vision of the gentlest cause
but the fire in our skin gives us no time for pause
lost in your flame
i've forgotten all pain
wrap myself around this feeling
the push and pull in your kiss sends me reeling
has me reaching
for stars

"Just a dry gin drinker.. master and a hound"

No number of kisses on the forehead can smooth away the melancholy that furrows there.
What if I made a mistake? I'm wondering what creature fills the hole that I used to.. If lips are as soft and needing as they once were.

Whose call you're answering to

i'm jetlagged, dizzy from a flight over sparkling waters
head in the clouds and the music's too loud
it all makes me wonder what really matters
i'm lettin' my hair down and swingin' my head high
stinging from the whiplash, singing from the heart clash
not wasting my time with the "how" and the "why"
enjoying the feel and enjoying the taste
the fingertips that tingle and eyes that twinkle
if you were a drink, i'd buy a case
or two

i was the dancer, you were the song
hands laced together, we both sang along
then one day the melody stopped in its tracks
the trebles and trembles, they faded to black
curtain drawn darkly, ovation appealed
last kiss for the night i'll quietly steal
cheeks red with blood and lips full of ice
i said the words but we both paid the price
with flourish and fancy i stood on my toes
and wished and beseeched to be free from the throes
..from aching and hurting and painful ill will
apathy, anger, and blackness until
i find myself once again in a dream
singing a lyric with familiar themes.

abstractions
hiding in my favorite stacks..
run my fingers over leather binding, taste dust, musty and worn.
feeling warm, though my energy's taxed..
run my mind over all my findings, think of us and how we're torn.
i close my eyes, within me rises sentiment
a council meeting, a parliament of heart.. rewrite the rules and the plan.
i can't blame the players.. i can't blame the man who thinks he can
i was mid-step when you turned around, you found me out
i've been the one who should've said.. i've been the one who's wondered when
perhaps i'm wrong and i've always been
dancing between shelves of history on paper, monumental, inconsequential
and i am a piece of it all
i am a piece of the wooden frame
quietly, all in the same
i am a piece.

a softer world: i've found one in my favorite coffee shop, hidden in the chaos of the surrounding grey like a pearl inside a rock.. when life is heavy on my heart i always find myself in this spot, sinking into the old leather chairs to become part of the pleasantries swapped here.
there is something i find so uplifting about the goings-on of this place. i dig myself in and begin excavating, exporting, and explaining the compacted week's botherations. meanwhile people meet, people greet, and they don't even notice i am here. i am just another piece of the hearth.
a flame warms my back, and i feel myself defrosting- imagine myself dripping, all the everythings, all the pain just dripping off of me to pool at my feet and evaporate into the atmosphere. i feel human again, feel superhuman again as my wings crackle and groan as they unfold behind me.

..then a stranger sits down. his face is striking, so friendly and concerned and bursting with warmth that i can't help but laugh with the infection of it.
"that's my favorite song you're listening to.. can i buy you a coffee?"
i would love a coffee.